so much hw/studying. i hate school.

thanks for the message at work NAM.

ended off the night with comedy night at the pub. it was hilarious. my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. thank goodness for funny men. during this time of cramming and restlessness it's nice to laugh and forget about what's coming around the corner.

stories about crapping in an alley. hovering families. elevator encounters. etc.

happppy birthdayyyy lennnna! (:

such an old photoooo haha.

bye family.

ate at red brick pizza for lunch. it was ok

and had to take stickipics before they left.

bye family.

thanks for making me gain 10lbs this weekend.

thanks for driving.

and thanks for everything else in between.

on another note. i had a weird dream today. about parties in urban outfitter + a crap load of birds + ski lifts of people that were caught + many many many random people that i dont talk to anymore randomly appearing in the dream + birds being destroyed

lesson: if you know something is going to go down and you don't say anything youre pretty guilty yourself?

went for a run tonight. for the first time in about 2-3 weeks. no more body jiggling when i walk. haha. time to get back into shape a little bit. for sure during winter break. just no more large weight gains til then. good luck on studying and finals. almost. there. yeah! can't wait to go home for winter break. for some strange reason..i..miss..fresno!

legoland dayyyy

as normal a picture as my family will take.

bob the builder

matt was too afraid to go on the roller coaster

but cade went on...

where they belong.

mini legoland is pretty.

weekend in carlsbad

fifa soccer tournament.

d&bs with the family in san diego. set the high score on the machine at 83. came out number one in the family. it was a good day for shoot out in basketball.

quote of the day: "what about JT?"

"i hope so, i brought him"

happy thanksgiving.

i'm thankful for: family. FRIENDS. God. shelby. lappy. my bed. food. friends that think of me and text/call on thanksgiving (sorry i didnt respond, my phone was dead all weekend). YOU.

P.S. you still confuse me. but im glad you still care.

some catching up is in order for sure.

sina and tiffany found a friend outside our apartment. haha

i think he was crippled because he couldnt run and tipped to the side when he was resting.

i can almost taste freedom

nasty bug that fell from the sky and onto my laptop in the scilib. freakin NASTAY.

i finished my project with a couple hours to spare after staying up til 2am and waking up at 9am to work on it. it wasn't until around 11am that i figured out that i was missing a huge part of the assignment. but i got it done. and those two remaining hours in the library were the longest ever. facebook was too slow to load. no one was on AIM. and i forgot my headphones at home so that meant no music. no korean dancing. nothing. i think i checked email a million times.

sat through 5 hrs of class and then had some good frozen pizza with how i met your mother at ji's. sometimes it's really nice just to relax and watch tv. i really enjoyed it.

tomorrow i have one class at 2pm and then it's off to SD for thanksgiving break. i hope that my parents made some good thanksgiving foooood. happy thanksgiving everyone. load up on some turkey and good foood.

i have to do a project

but i'm not doing it. and i'm blogging instead. 

Kula sushi. it was very fillingggggg. 

these are just the ones tiff ate. so fatttyyy haha. 

just kiddinggg. we split it. so it was like 6 dishes each??

thanks for driving friend!

on a different note.

i kinda sorta maybe just a little bit hate you. hate being a strong word so maybe not hate maybe  just really don't like. it's hard to convey everything through words right now. but i'll try my best. basically you pop out of no where and then vanish just as quickly as you appeared. i kinda know what a girl feels like when she's being pursued. it sucks. i would much rather pursue than be pursued. as much as i thought i would rather have it the other way. as much as i thought i was lazy and didnt give a care. i guess i'm figuring out that i really do care. i hate being the one to wait around. checking my phone every few minutes for a text message that wasn't sent. or signing on to AIM just to see you not IM first or at all for that matter. 

but i'm sure this is how everyone thinks. everyone wants to play the dominant role because it's safer. if we get rejected at least we can move on with the satisfaction that we actually gave it a try. but if we never got rejected then what? we walk away with that lingering sense of curiosity of 'maybe this' or 'maybe that.' not ever knowing what could have actually happened if we had the balls to initiate first for once. so here's to you dearmrjason. you don't have to sit around and wait for something good to happen. you can start up things too. not that i really want to right now but for future sakes GET up off your chair. go OUT into the world and DO something about it. that's the only way that change will happen, for relationships, for life, for anything. 

i'm glad i wrote it. not that i'll actually listen to it right away. but at least it's out there for someone else to take advantage of. i'm at peace right now. and i've worked to get to this state. so i'm not going to ruin it by thinking i need someone else to complete me. i really am fine. i really am HAPPY. and that's all that matters to me. i'm just going to continue living life LOVING EVERYone instead of just the one. thanks for reading on my rants. 

til tomorrow.

am i getting sick?!

i sure hope not. but waking up two days in a row with a gross throat. and all the sneezing and running nose begs to differ. please let this cold pass quickly. 

my new socks. haha. only for luck occasions. 

and there's a bear in the background. thanks for the delivery haha

the ants declared war again. 

this time they went after my retainers? 

gross. 

now i have to wash them with something highly disinfecting. 

so much for working on our CAP projects. 

i napped. 

while you played solitaire. 

while we baked cookies which we later ate haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHLEEEEN!

-all the way in caliFORnia, Jason

an eventful saturday

cleaned the bathroom. today. cleaned the sink. the toilet. the floor. the shower. i don't feel dirty coming out of the shower anymore. 
a few pics right before we ate at red robins. 
little did we know what would happen later that night.
at least we met some nice paramedics/firefighters. 

i can make friends.

japanese visitors. at first it was hard to communicate but after i got the hang of it they were really friendly and funny. i'm glad i got the chance to meet them and know them. come visit again mr. splash mountain, mr ladies man/ped. haha, mr america, mr. funny, mr. doesnt like jason, mr. captain, mr. texas, mr. looks like derek. have a safe flight back. come and visit again. 

and you can't end thanksgiving dinner without cranium at 2am right? team ji and jason > team kim and craig. 

one of the best feelings.

  is knowing that you have clean underwear to wear the next day. done with four loads of laundry. should last me a while. 

pippin thanksgiving dinner. and korean bbq after class. = stomach problems for life. at least i'm catching up on sleep now. 

hooray. i survived barely.

banana in the mail?? hahaha
my beautiful creation haha.
working hard no doubt
yup all on one cake hahaha
garlic popcorn chicken from love letter. GOOD.
bought some read bean cakes for later. some almond pepero. and kimchi. successs.

story from today: went into fedex to fax something to my mom. ended up failing about a million times only to realize that i didnt put the 1 at the beginning of the number so it didnt read the right number. once i figured that out i press start only to realize that the credit card returned to me was already in the machine...i thought you had to pay after a successful fax for some reason..i really dont know what i was thinking. i explained to the guy behind the counter what had happened and gave him the credit card. he took the charge after the card and then put a discounted charge on my card because of my honesty. i walked out the door to see the japanese foreign girl who was using the machine in front of me. after confirming that she was just using the fax machine i told her that she left her credit card in the machine that the guy at the counter had it. i really do hope good karma rolls around!

high on life.

the past few days have been a challenge for me to say the least. i had a midterm on monday. paper due today. midterm about three hours ago. and now i have a 10pg paper due tomorrow morning along with a 10 minute presentation in front of my professor and five other students. it seems like all i've been doing has been studying and just focusing on that. but i've done other things as well. i can really say that only recently did i fully trust in God and His perfect timing. let me continue on this for a minute. I've always thought study. study. study. i need to study in order to get a good grade and i can put EVERYTHING off until later because this is more important. But recently i've been going with GOD'S flow and really trusting that He'll give me the time i need to prepare for these exams. and although i felt pressured and crammed for time, i feel like God prepared me for these exams. I didn't freak out. i didn't go crazy. i trusted that God would lead me through as He always has and always will. 

i ate with my family and really enjoyed it. i had lunch with my cousin and sister talking about the randomness in our lives. i took breaks to do things that came up. I had a two hour meeting with collins and henry on sunday without backing out because i needed to study as i usually do. i watched the meteor shower last night at 1:30am instead of cramming. i watched at least three or four shooting stars with heidi and her roommates when they dragged me out of my apt and into the freezing cold. i helped a friend study even though i wasnt prepared myself and found out that it helped me more than if i could have studied by myself. God continues to surprise me with new revelations everyday. around every corner. in the smallest of things. in the most beautiful people. and in the most random ways. as you can tell i'm high off life. so let me live it out haha. after all these years i'm actually seeing God's grace, LOVE, mercy, patience and beauty in the things that make up my life. 

thank you GOD. for everything. You are truly amazing. 

i got hacked

i know i'm late, but this new post goes out to my best study partner ever Jess Wong! i will rock these next few days thanks to her

ouch. one midterm down. one more to go. and two essays. and one presentation. all before 9am on wednesday morning. goodbye technology til then. 

sunday

study mode.

saturday.

update on life later. 

[UPDATED]

best waiter ever. haha. 

"can i get a small sausage?"

"you mean the pizza right?"

after the food

"how's your small sausage?"

getting ready for winter. it's cominggg

oh.my.

Some say it's not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Cause then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Please leave him and come to me

Please don’t take his hand
Cause you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you're here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Cause you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

im scared.

of everything. what i'm doing right now. where i'm headed. who i'm going to be with. where i'll be one year from TODAY. what will happen with school. what will happen to all the relationships ive made this far.

i really do think about these things from time to time. i think that it's become more and more frequent as graduation comes closer and as i think of leaving this place that ive called home for the past 3+ years. it's definitely been a good run but i think that i can finish even stronger. but that takes effort. i need to pray for the strength and energy to invest in everything/everyone that i need/want to. God knows the troubles and strengths of my heart and i know that i'll be more than happy wherever He takes me. I just have to remember how far that i've come with Him. and i know that the future will always be ahead of me and to stop worrying about it and just live tomorrow. focus on the next step right in front of me instead of becoming fearful of the long winding journey that lies ahead.

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:31-34

pictures are from small group tonight. the first one is from the cuties that we drew on for the mens/womens/freshman small groups. I randomly found steven's cutie and it looked like a third grader drew it so i had to take a picture. i think it's blurry from the car driving or from me laughing so hard. the second picture is from making the cards for the groups. we got free tapioca express from the TSA. thanks TSA it was a good surprise gift to top off the night.

happy veterans day

spent veterans day eating all you can eat korean bbq for three hours. going to spectrum for three more hours. then changing clothes to go eat at kabuki. coming back to feel like i ate more that i should have for two days. and i didnt even buy anything at the mall. i guess that's a good thing though. i should save my money.

recap of last night: seeing a boss at albertsons. shame. driving to hunTINGton beach. walk to CVS. being denied by one minute rule. going to chevron instead. possum. cougar. taboo. beagle. sleeeeep.