driving with tiff to thai cafe
the chicken curry was delicious
but kinda spicy
dinner with june at cheesecake factory
no more eating out dearmrjason.
too much in one dayy
today was my first day tutoring the fifth grade class and man was it an eye opening experience. first of all i've never really experienced a lot of questions about my ethnicity because i've been around asians my whole life. but i found kids saying 'are you from japan?' or 'do you speak chinese?' or even 'are you mr. vu's son?' ...mr. vu being the asian custodial worker at the elementary school. i didnt realize that even at such a young age that people easily distinguish that there are differences between ethnicities. when i was in elementary school we didnt even know what the difference was. we just played together. there wasn't talk about what country you hailed from. just if you were good at playing soccer during recess or not.
another think i learned is that i doubt that i can teach elementary school students. lately i was wondering if teaching was something that i was being called to do but after today i don't really know if i have the energy to handle kids at this age. they're in the stage where they're still really fidgety and where they can't stop gossiping to each other and trying to get the teacher's attention. and at this point some of them don't even want to learn. one of the kids i was working with wouldnt pay attention. he would do everything he could to get his eyes away from the math problems. and when i was trying to help him would even call for the teacher to come and help him..ok....hahaha.
i also realized that the kids that got into trouble and were punished during play time were the kids that were really outgoing and friendly. yes they did act up in class and were a little loud but i really felt that it was part of their personality. and they were kind of being punished for being louder and for being out there. and when they were punished, a lot of the time it was just scolding them with a harsh tone and being just really mean to them. i felt like there must be a better way to get the kids to stop misbehaving in class without scaring the crap out of them. maybe that doesnt always work. or maybe i'm just stuck in my fantasy world where i feel like i could win over kids just by being compassionate and real with them.
but after working with some of them. they are really smart kids. and i feel like they can have a bright future ahead of them if they keep working. but many of them aren't interested in school..or math. to them it's just a chore and something hard. maybe it's the way it's presented to them. or even in the way that they learn math individually. either way i pray that they continue with their education and pursue a higher knowledge in college and even beyond.
i don't know how i'm going to handle this for the rest of the quarter..and maybe even next quarter. but i know that somehow God will give me the strength. i need to stand firm and not let them take advantage of me (realized this after talking with Doris and Eric) and also to really have an open mind to everything. i honestly believe that these kids have a lot to teach me. just be receptive to whatever that is.
ok enough ramblings for one day. i'm beatt. goodnight.
